Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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