You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
