why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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