I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
