So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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