According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Someone stole a lamp last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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