Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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