So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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