I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
