so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
