there was a trapeze. enough said
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
