Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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