In the future we'll all be gay
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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