Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she peed on how many people?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
