Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
