i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think I won the penis lottery.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
