dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
