Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
