Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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