And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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