My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
