I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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