I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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