I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
