He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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