friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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