Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
