PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
