lets start a swedish sibling band together
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
