NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
