My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
