sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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