i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
