JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
