your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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