Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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