Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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