exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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