Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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