All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The convent might be a nice break from real life
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
