I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dick very happy bro
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
