Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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