I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
