so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
