I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
