Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
