Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
