Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
