The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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