you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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